Die, Pudding, Die!
by SugarHi Marauders
Summary: What happens when James puts a spell on Sirius? A morning filled with one phobic kid, one sugarhigh kid, four just plain crazy kids and of course, evil pudding. This is a oneshot. If your looking for a good laugh, I suggest you read this. Read and REVIEW!


A/N- This is Sheri here and only I wrote this. Trish is off gallivanting and writing her own story. This is a one-shot story. I wrote it cause I had an idea and I had to write about it, cause it wouldn't leave my head. Thus, came a story that you shall read and then afterwards REVIEW. Have fun!

Disclaimer: Get a grip. If I owned Lily Evans and James Potter I would already be screaming around the house out of pure euphoria. Let alone own Lily, James, Remus, Sirius and McGonagall. So back off you evil, kanevil lawyers!

_Warning: There is serious yelling going on here! But there are no bad words._

**ON WITH THE STORY! **

_---------_

Die, Pudding, Die 

By: crazy and out of her mind Sheri

_Girls 7th year dormitory_

"WAAAAAKE UP! Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!" Charlie screamed in a (what she thought) a melodious voice.

"Wake u—"

"SHUT UP!" Lily roared.

Mel and Alice muttered something from under their pillows.

"What did you say, my dear Melissa?"

"I SAID, GO WAKE UP THE REST OF THE GRYFFINDOR TOWER!" Mel yelled. This was unusual for Mel because she never yelled.

"Here, here!" Alice agreed.

But this didn't bother Charlie of course.

"Nah, you guys are more fun."

"WE'RE MORE FUN?" Lily screeched.

"YOU WANT FUN? I'LL GIVE YOU FUN!"

And with that, Lily jumped out of her bed, in her black tank top and pajamas, and raced after Charlie who was sprinting down the stairs as if her life depended on it…which it did.

_Boy's 7th year dormitory_

A piercing scream was heard all over the school, but especially in the boy's seventh year dormitory whose room was separated from the girls' dormitory by only a wall.

Sirius bolted up from his bed screaming, "WHO? WHAT? WHERE'S THE PUDDING?"

The remaining five boys in the dormitory, who were now wide awake, stared at him like he just arrived from another planet.

"Sirius, the pudding is in the kitchens." Remus said slowly.

"Where?" Sirius asked dumbfounded.

"In-the-kitchens." Remus said even slower.

"NOOOOO! The horror!" Sirius screamed in agony.

"James." Remus said sternly.

"What? What did I do? Nothing!" James defended yet had "I am guilty" written all over his face.

"James." Remus said louder, and advancing on him.

"Moony, buddy, seriously I didn't do anything. All I did was go with him to the kitchens yesterday night, well you fell asleep reading that book about those really cool spells.

"And what happened in the kitchens James?" Remus asked cornering James to the foot of the steps.

"What makes you think that anything happened in the kitchens Moony?"

"What makes me think— the fact that Sirius is lying crumpled up on the floor screaming about PUDDING! Which happens to be his favorite."

"UM, well, at the kitchens, um there was, um, a lot of pudding and Sirius happened to eat a lot of them."

"and…" Remus urged.

"And, well at night, when I was sugar high, and Sirius had a sugar crash and was sleeping, I read your cool spell book and then found a spell that made a person scared of anything that you wanted them to be." James said in a rush.

"So let me get this straight. You took my book of highly dangerous spells and put one on Sirius to make up terrified of something he loves to eat." Remus said rubbing his temple and closing his eyes.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Why? Well, because I thought it was funny."

"Funny? FUNNY? You think that the fact that Padfoot is screaming like pudding is actually ripping his guts out is FUNNY?" he roared.

"Um, yes?" James said meekly.

There was silence for a moment and then…

"YOU DOLT!"

James was surprised by his friend's sudden reaction and resulted in James tumbling down the stairs and landing flat on his back.

"OWWWW!" James screamed and feared for what he thought was a broken back.

Common Room 

"CHARLOTTE CONDON GET YOUR BUTT HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT, AND I MEAN NOW!" Lily yelled to the portrait hole, where Charlie was just seconds before.

"Hey Lils, uh, you ok there?" James asked, still lying on the floor.

"Uh, not now Potter. But from the looks of you, you ain't doin so well yourself."

Remus chuckled from the top of the stairs and then made his way down.

James' eyes widened at the sight of Remus towering over him.

As Remus opened his mouth, Lily yelled "ITS OK MEL, SHES GONE!"

"GEEZ LILLS!" I don't need both my ears to stop working!" James said, still lying in his original position on the floor.

"Whats with him?" Lily asked confused, who was oblivious to the loudness of her voice.

"He KINDA made Sirius crawl up on the floor."

"Kinda. OK then I won't even ask and don't make too much noise. I'm going back to sleep." And with that Lily fell onto the couch and as soon as her head touched the pillow, she fell asleep…literally.

"HEY SIRIUS!" Remus yelled.

"Shhhh!" James said pointing to where he thought Lily was.

"Hey, Sirius!" Remus whispered.

"He won't here you!"

"Then what do you want me to do?" Remus asked annoyed.

"Get up there and get him down here!"

"YOU GO! You're the one who made him scared out of his wits!"

"But Moony!" James whined.

"No." Remus asked firmly.

"Fine." James said pouting.

James got up from the floor and went upstairs and saw Sirius in the very position that he was in, in the common room.

"Hey Sirius you want to go downstairs?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because the pudding will get me!" Sirius said with fear in his voice.

"No it won't Padfoot. Plus, there is bacon."

Sirius' ears perked up at bacon.

"Bacon?" He asked curiously.

"Yup, that delicious food that you love. But you know, its ok you don't have to come because then there will be more for me." James pretended to leave.

"OKAY, OK , I'M COMING! DON'T YOU DARE EAT MY BACON!" Sirius raced down the stairs in front of James

"I love reverse psychology." James said as he made his way down the stairs after an all-better Sirius.

Back in the common room 

Sirius came running down the stairs where Remus was waiting.

"Finally, I've been—"

"TO THE BACON!" Sirius marched to the portrait hole but stopped in front of the sofa lining the wall.

"Oh- my- GOD!"

"What?" James asked as he came down the stairs.

"Lily…" Sirius trailed off pointing to her with a loss of words.

"What, what happened to Lily?" James asked confused yet worried. He ran to Sirius and then looked back and forth between Sirius and his wide eyes and Lily and her serene face.

"She- she- SHE WAS ATTACKED BY THE PUDDING!" Sirius screamed.

James' face relaxed and he let out a breath. He was very glad that it was nothing serious.

"Come on Sirius, she'll be fine." James said trying to move Sirius out the door.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my Prongs?" Sirius said with "I'm dead scared," written all over his face.

"Padfoot, I am right here. And what do you mean _your_ Prongs?" James asked confused and appalled at his friend's behavior.

"You aren't Prongs, you imposter! The REAL James would never, EVER leave his potential girlfriend alone if she was attacked by the evil, kanevil pudding!" Sirius said backing away from him.

"Padfoot." James said slowly walking towards him.

"Get away! LILY GET UP, COME ON LILY GET-UP!"

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU WANT?" Lily, who is now fully awake thanks to Sirius' loud outburst, said.

She turned to James, and then said, "James I thought I told you to be quiet" She said this on a quiet note, unlike her loud yelling at Sirius.

"OH-MY-GOD!" Sirius said for the second time that day.

"The pudding has fiddled with Evans' mind so that she is acting civilly to imposter James!" Sirius said, his arm over his eyes as if he were shielding them from bright light.

"Wow." Lily said.

Lily looked at James, who looked liked he did when he was in a tight situation and was thinking fast, to Remus who was leaning casually against the wall watching the once-in-a-lifetime scenario.

Lily looked at Remus very critically and he got the message…hopefully.

"Padfoot, don't you think its time to leave?" Remus asked getting off the wall and making his way towards Sirius.

Sirius looked hesitant but then replied saying "Yes, your right, I guess I am underreacting."

"Yes, I think you are over—wait, you said you were UNDER reacting?" Remus asked.

"Of course! What did you think? That I am overreacting? Of course not! This pudding could be in Voldemort's inner circle. He could be out to get me!" Sirius said, whispering the last part.

"We must warn Dumbledore and Minnie about the forces that are breaking in Hogwarts grounds!" Sirius said standing up straight. "C'MON!" Sirius grabbed Remus' arm and marched right out of the common room, but not before Remus gave James a look that would have had Voldemort running for his money.

"OK, that was weird." Lily said sitting back on the couch.

"You have NO idea." James said taking Remus' spot on the wall.

But as soon as James leaned on the wall, he had to get off, because in came Sirius still dragging Remus, so James moved over to Lily as if using her as a shield.

Lily spoke first saying "Why are you back so soon, I thought you went to Dumbledore?"

"Why, was imposters James and Lily planning something evil, something to get me, huh?" Sirius said accusingly.

"NO, Sirius they aren't planning anything." Remus said to Sirius as if he were a five-year old.

Then he turned to Lily and James and said "We came back, because the sight outside was too much for Sirius to handle."

"What happened?" Lily whispered.

"Charlie was eating….pudding." When Remus said this, a couple of things happened:

Lily screamed and hid her face behind a pillow on the sofa at the sound of "Charlie.

Sirius screamed and jumped into defensive mode at the sound of "pudding"

James screamed at the sound of Lily and Sirius screaming and jumped back.

Remus screamed "HOLY COW!" at the sound of all 3 extremely loud seventeen-year olds screaming.

When they were all done screaming, they saw Mel slide down the girls dormitory staircase gracefully. She held a very angry look, her blonde hair was put into a messy ponytail, her piercing electric blue eyes had a murderous look in them, and she was wearing baggy blue pajamas with electric guitars all over and a black tank top that had an electric guitar in the center that overall caught Remus' attention instantly.

"OK, what is going on here?" Mel asked her blue eyes flashing.

"Uh nothing, we're all f—"

"LILY EVANS, IF YOU DARE SAY FINE, I AM DISAPPOINTED!" Sirius interrupted.

"OK Sirius, what is wrong." Mel asked in a sweet voice….a fake one of course.

"Mel, oh thank goodness you weren't attacked!" Sirius said wiping away his pretend sweat. "James and Lily are being controlled by pudding and Charlie is going to be too because she is eating pudding outside the common room!" Sirius said very fast.

Mel's eyes widened at the sound of "Charlie."

"Charlie….she's here?" Mel asked weakly.

"Yes, outside."

"Oh, god, she's here. Hide me." With that, Mel hid behind Remus.

"Mel, please don't tell me you believe Sirius." Remus asked disbelievingly.

"You mean, Charlie isn't outside?"

"Oh, she is its just—"

"Then shush, and hide me!" Mel said in a stern voice.

"But—"

"Eeekkk! I hear her!" Lily said in a high pitched voice. "James hide me!"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?" James said in an annoying way.

"Because Charlie is coming."

"So…"

"James, if you hide me, I'll go out with you."

There was silence. Nobody in the room moved a muscle because they were stricken with shock.

"Are—are you serious?" James whispered, his eyes wide.

"Yes, now will you please hide me." Lily begged.

"Yea, just get behind me."

"That's it? That's your big plan to hide me?"

"You never said you wanted a big plan. So are you free Saturday?" James asked motioning her to get behind him.

"Yea fine." Lily grumbled.

Before James could ask another question, Professor McGonagall came in with Charlie eating pudding in her brown v-neck shirt and baggy pajamas behind her back.

As soon as they made their entrance, similar to when Remus made his statement about Charlie being outside, a couple of things happened.

Sirius screamed and put his hands on his face covering his eyes and the sight of the pudding.

Remus screamed because McGonagall was in the room.

Mel screamed because Charlie was there and therefore fell on the floor.

James screamed because the morning's events was getting to his head and so was all the screaming.

Lily screamed because Charlie was there and because McGonagall was there and therefore clutched James' waist as if she were being blown away.

All 5 seventeen-year olds didn't stop screaming until McGonagall said "_SILENCIO!" _ and all the kids stopped producing sound.

"WHAT is the meaning of all this?" McGonagall asked her eyes flashing as they did when she was mad.

All of them started moving their mouths as if they were talking but of course couldn't talk. (Mel and Lily came out of their hiding spots already.)

McGonagall waved her hand to signal them to stop moving their mouths.

"Who did this?" McGonagall asked.

Once again a series of things happened….mainly pointing:

Lily pointed to Charlie

James pointed to Sirius

Mel pointed to Charlie

Remus pointed to James

Sirius pointed to of course…the pudding in Charlie's hand

"Oui ve." McGonagall said massaging her temple.

"All of you get detention for a week, for waking up all the students in the castle as well as the staff. Any questions."

All were silent (no pun intended) until James raised his hand.

McGonagall muttered something and James was able to speak again.

"Um, do you the counter curse for '_consternatio bellaria_'? I kinda lost the book that had it."

"Why do you need it?" McGonagall asked curiously.

"Long story." James said sighing.

"Very well. It is—"

"WAIT! Point your wand at Sirius and say it." James said pointing to Sirius.

McGonagall gave James a queer look and then said "_impavidus paropsis_" to Sirius. She then took of the silencing charm off all the students.

As soon as she did, Remus yelled "YOU STOLE MY BOOK AND THEN YOU _LOST _IT?"

"Uh oh, here we go again." James said ready to run. "But at least Padfoots back."

As if on queue , Sirius said "Whoa, what just happened and Remus why are you red as a tomato?"

"Why am I--, OK THAT'S IT!" And with that, Remus ran off chasing Sirius and James all around the castle.

As their screams died off, Charlie asked "So guys, what do you want to do now that your fully awake and ready to have some _fun!_"

Mel and Lily looked at each other then ran past McGonagall and Charlie screaming and their arms flailing.

"Wait for me!" Charlie yelled and then ran after them.

The screams of James, Sirius, Lily and Mel could be heard all around the castle, and if anyone wasn't awake yet, they were now. So now there were people chasing after the six kids because they were awoken from their "beauty sleep."

"I will never understand them." McGonagall said leaving the messed up common room with a smile.

**A/N: OK that's it. You like? I loved writing it…I was hysterical when I was writing it, but that doesn't mean anything considering I laugh at everything. (literally, just ask Trisha!) Anyway, please, PLEASE Review! (Oh, great now I am a beggar…first I can't stop laughing now I am begging.)**

**Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!**

**sugar high sheri**


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